It has been so long between posts that I can't even remember what the last post was actually about! Yes, I have been slack with my blog post writing.
However I have been very busy doing other things to keep me occupied, so much so that if I actually had a payed job to go to I don't know how I would find the time.
These other things include taking my Class Burlesque Tease classes and wait for it, working on my first routine!
Six weeks ago my friend , Tom Vogel advertised that he was bringing his Burlesque nights back and myself wanting to actually move from Kitty gigs to Performer gigs put my hand up and even told him I was working on a routine. I was so not, I had not even chosen a song yet.
I figured it would not be that hard but boy, was I wrong. Its not that it is hard really, it is just really time consuming and if you are a perfectionist and a stress head, as I am it is easy to take it too seriously and drive yourself bananas in the process.
By the first week I was researching bump and grind traditional music but I figured that I was no ready to go full classic yet as it is my first time and I felt more comfortable using a song with words that I can play on.
So off to You Tube I went and I watched videos of classics like Betty Page for her faces and Tempest Storm for her original but classic moves. Later on in the process of doing the choreography I realized that I liked the sexiness of Jessica Rabbit and more recently after watching My Week With Marilyn I was once again inspired to add a bit of mystery and cuteness to it. And some pin up poses. I had my song chosen, Fever by Peggy Lee.
I thought I knew what I was going for in the first couple of weeks and perhaps took it all a bit too lightly as I tried to put moves together and came out with a routine that was too stiff and had no passion. I found it so difficult to dance at home with my dad in the other room that I was getting so stressed dancing in a tiny space between my wardrobe and bed where I could not even fit in my mirror.
Every spare second that my dad wasn't home I would sneak into the living room and practice or I would attempt to practice at my boyfriend's house, that was another epic fail as I got too distracted.
Last week, with two weeks to go I had a total melt down. I crashed and burned so hard because I had no idea what I was doing and I wanted to try and try some more that I snapped and I wanted to pull out. My routine really did look average, not a show stopper at all. Of course my boyfriend, Ivan kept saying I would be great but he also said that I need to relax and just have fun with it.
At that point I was in tears and the routine consumed my every thought, so much so that I could not concentrate or enjoy watching a movie, complete my dance classes when they came up and at some points I was not eating.
After crying in Ivan's arms and getting it out of my system, the next day I worked on it again and I changed the start and from last week on I have been building my routine.
Who would have thought that in two weeks I had put together a routine. I gave myself till last Thursday to have it done as I had a rehearsal at the venue booked for 5.30pm. There was no escaping it now but there was no need to worry either. The routine looked great on stage.
The first time I stepped up on the stage during that rehearsal I was stiff, it wasn't so great and I started to freak out a little as there was going to be an audience there in front of me, watching! Sounds silly but I don't want to freeze once I get on stage, I want to own it!
I had my costume on, my sparkly green dress, heels and ratty old stocking plus my gloves. Still unsure what I am wearing for the reveal but I will shop on pay day. Anyway the second time I rehearsed I was better but the third time I was fantastic, what a feeling. It was so good to nail it and get a feel for the stage.
Ivan was recording it and my friend, Dominka who came in on the second attempt was yelling stuff at me, mostly about my expressions and my movement which helped a lot. I walked off the stage so happy that it felt so good and looked amazing, I know so as I watched the video back and it was great.
I took three days off after that due to work and keeping order at the place I am house sitting, thank goodness for the private space the place I am sitting gave me as I don't know how or where I would have rehearsed, certainly not at home with my dad there.
My mum also does not approve but I wonder if I should show her the video of the show ? That I am still unsure of. The joys of being Maltese and wanting to be a showgirl, bringing shame to the family name and doing something so wrong. To hell with it I say, I just want to dance and I am not hurting anyone (not intentionally anyway).
Last night I was back to rehearsing, this time over at Dominka's place as she wanted to help me straighten things out. We got through an hour and a half of her cracking the whip and me dancing like a trained monkey, over and over again till I was out of breath and sweating like I had run a marathon. The funny thing was that the routine didn't come to life till I started to exaggerate the moves and the faces, then it looked spectacular. This was Dominka's idea. She is a trained hula hooper and will be performing on the night also.
This week I will spend time hunting for a undergarment for my costume and rehearsing over and over again, all this in between another house move and a night of work. The last thing I want is another meltdown before I get on stage! Lets hope not. My fear is that I will freeze and miss a section or not smile at all, become expressionless.
The feeling at this stage with five days to go is hopeful , excited, confident, scared and a little frantic. I have a lot to do before Sunday that does not include getting ready and I must try to focus on my performance. I just want it over with so I can relax.
This is it, Sunday is my time to shine. Stay tuned for a follow up report!
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