I have just finalized my list of 5 positive affirmations and I even went to the effort to type them out on my computer and play with the font and it’s all over look. If I owned a printer I would print it, and pin it on my wall as that was the whole purpose of the affirmations in the first place. These affirmations are written for me to look at every morning and say it to myself out loud till I believe my own bullsit.
Here is the thing though; I have fed myself bullshit for so long that I have started to believe it. All the negative stuff I have told myself has been eating me up because I allowed myself to say it to myself in the first place; so much that I started to believe it.
So this in fact means that these positive affirmations are not bullshit at all, just good stuff to be feeding yourself as they are true but you just need to reinforce it in your brain. If can feed myself negatives for so long and believe it then doing the same with the positive affirmations makes them food for thought and in fact healthy eating. We all know the saying, You are what you eat"!.
This new way of thinking has come about since I started talking to my boyfriend who for about a year has been into meditation which incorporates different strategies, such as reflecting on what we are grateful for in our lives and positives.
Then this led to life coaching which he too recommended, all great ideas I must say. My boyfriend also recommended I read “The Power of Now” by Eckhart Tolle and I spent all day a few weeks ago sitting on the lounge in Eltham reading away like time actually did not exist, in reality it doesn’t, we create it. You will understand what I mean if you read the book. That moment reading the book actually came about from the universe as I found it on the bookshelf amoungst thousands of books owed by the Philoshper/Artist for whom I was House Sitting at the time.
The universe was looking out for me as all I wanted to do was make some changes to my current situation and it kept throwing signs at me. It interviened again when I decided to hunt for a “stop gap job”, which for me meant working retail jobs, which I have minimal interest in, (if you ask the people already in retail, minimal experience in).
After an hour or so I started to get down as I was receiving mixed responses and no promise of a job trial, some wouldn’t take my resume. I wandered down Brunswick Street, half deflated like a balloon twisted poodle slowly running out of air, tail between legs touching and dragging along the floor as I walked and sulked.
Then I saw it, written in coloured whiteboard markers on a sandwich board outside this tiny light filled store, “Free positive thinking course, enrol today”. Wow, thank you universe, I now felt a little better from that tiny amount of hope that sign offered.
I walked in and spoke to the woman who talked to me about meditation and positive energies before she sent me up to the ‘silent room’ for 5 minutes of meditation.
The first session of the four week course was on this Tuesday just past with the speaker being a middle aged man named Glen. I really enjoyed it and I took so much from that class as it actually reinforced what ‘The Power of Now’ tells the reader, so some of it I had been familiar with.
We learnt a whole lot of new information and the part I liked the most when Glen spoke about where the negative energy comes from and how we build it within ourselves. Glen told us that when we bring up something from our past, say an argument with a friend we had 2 years ago that makes us furious, this brings up the feeling associated with that event and in turn it feeds our emotions, which brings us down and turns our attitude sour and the atmosphere we give out is negative.
This really makes sense for me as a few years ago I was told that I give out negative vibes from a person who did not know me so well. Looking back at this time I realised that this was a period of my life when I held a lot of anger towards others, I was very inward as a person and I really wasn’t sure about who I was as a person at all.
The class finished off with a short meditation where we reflected on what was said and before we left the class we were told to go home and write down three things which we were grateful for and five personal affirmations.
Since attending the class, most nights before bed I get my notebook out and write three posititives for the day and reflect on the feelings associated with each positive written on the page. From doing this I have found that I am thinking more positively as it makes the negatives seem unimportant as the positive feelings make me feel confident and sure of myself and my unique abilities.
I am looking forward to the next class and the rest of the course as I want to know what else Glen has to share with us. One day I will be able to sit still enough to meditate and I hope that from this course that I can learn to keep my mind still and in time find my inner peace. I know that meditation is a special practice, one that takes time to master and as you learn how to practice it to find your peace you keep learning and growing as you delve deeper into yourself.
The biggest challenge for me is to stop all this self criticism and worrying about what others may think of me ( mostly all in my mind as people to self obsessed to notice what others are doing) and from there I will learn accept myself and in time find my peace.
I am learning so much and enjoying my new outlook immensely and this will mean no more sad and depressed blog posts... Hmmm then what will I write about if I don’t have must to windge about!!!
